While considered a masterpiece of Democratic philosophy, the original Consitution addressed the rights only of Government, much to the dis~satisfaction of Patrick Henry & other anti~Federalist sympathysers oppose'd to Radification. The Hon. Messrs. Thom. Jefferson & Jas. Madison hope'd this Declaration of Individual Rights might resolve such debate through strong Guaranty of personal Freedoms. However elegantly worded, much of the Document remayns open to sundry interpretation.    As example: A section of Amendment I refers to Laws "respecting an establishment of religion" by Congress. Author Jefferson argues: "The meaning should be obvious to any thinking man! Elected Government is prohibited from forcing its Religious beliefs upon the People through co-ersion or any other means. What part of 'no' don't you understand?" Full Text of the 10 Amendments may be had on p.3    In defense of Amendment II, Jefferson responds: "It would take a drunken fool indeed to believe 'a well regulated militia' meant each Citizen should be encourage'd to walk the publick square with a dueling pistol beneath his cloak, or secret a store of 100 musket in his potatoe cellar."    A Representative from New Jersey complayned: "Have you ever try'd to read words hand~written upon parchment? It is near impossible! They should have provide'd us with magnifying glasses." This may be one reason the Bill was passed into law & sent ahead to the Government Printers without more extensive examination. Yet another reason may be the high confidence & esteem the Nation holds for Messrs. Jefferson & Madison.    Madison: "Any action that accelerates us towards Radification is a welcome action. I strongly doubt these few, so~called 'ambiguitys' should cause much of a tempest in the future. Finally, we must place our trust in the intelligence of the Population." Wisdom of Electoral College prayse'd {Philadelphia, Penn.} ~~ Each & ev'ry Citizen may rejoyce & be at ease, confident in the knowledge that his President shall be henceforth chosen by the People, rather than by an elite coterie of back~room influence peddlers.    This is the educated opinion of Philadelphia Elector William Dimplechad, just one of the 69 who unanimously cast their Ballot for our belove'd Gen. George Washington in April.    Dimplechad: "While popular Vote is a manageable system for the individual States, the Electoral process is less confusing & time~consuming on a Nation~wide scale.    "The term 'Voter fraud' shall never enter the vocabulary of National politicks. The majority shall always triumph." { Article continue'd, see "Majority" on p.2 }

Capital site on Potomac was once Native burial ground {Georgetown, M'land} ~~ Initial investigation by land surveyors confirms a 10 square~mile area along the Potomac River, having been proposed for the establishment of the new Seat of Government, is indeed an ancient burial site.    Representatives from Maryland continue to deny allegations the inhospitable swamp is shaym'lessly over~value'd, & the land is being pawned off upon the Federal Government because it is curse'd by Indian shamans.    Local townsman Adam Thompson agrees: "Legend says this land is 'bad medicine' & anyone who takes up residence shall be possessed of the Devil. Greed, dishonesty, sloth & impayre'd mental capacity are sayd to be yet a small part of the curse. Cautious Citizens here are loath to even travel nearby the place, much less build their homesteads upon it. Its smell is an offense to anyone possessing of nostrils."    But agents for Maryland say they will go forth with plans to bring the matter before the House of Representatives next year, insisting "We shall not be sway'd by ridiculous superstitions, & we have ev'ry confidence such final decisions shall be made through intelligent consideration & contemplation." EDITORIAL The grate debate: Replacing "f" with "s" An "s" is an "s", except when it appears in the midst of a word. This has been the conventional wisdom for time immemorial. But we of The Specious Report are proud to be in the fore~front of the battle to make more accessible the printed word. From this issue hence, we pledge never shall our readers be subjected to visual abominations such as "Maffachufets" or "Prefident Wafhington" &c.    Thomas Paine, generally considered a forward~thinker, has made clear his position on this matter. The revere'd author of Common Sense has stated publickly: "The very idea is prepofterous! Would they alfo suggeft Papifts hold Mafs in Englifh inftead of Latin? It is a blaytant attempt by publifhers to appeal to the loweft common denominator."    With all due respect to the Honourable Mr. Paine, times must change & we cannot remayn shackled to the past. The Staff of The Specious Report are proud to march bravely toward the Nineteenth Century. I remayn your devote'd servant,    ~~Earnest Motley, Esq., Publisher.