The Specious Report 2003

= Most Popular

December
Pet Shelters Swamped with Unwanted Chias
 National Do Not Spam Registry
Keiko Secretly Eaten
 Rescue Workers Free Saddam from Abandoned Well
Twas the Night before Christmas
 Virtual Colonoscopy

November
Rod Stewart Faces New Abuse Allegations
 Shocking New Theory Surrounding JFK Conspiracy
 What's Really in Your Halloween Candy?
 Official Color Guide for Jelly Bracelet Sex Game
Bush Travels to UK for Some Reason
Les Moonves Donates Testicles to Reagan Presidential Library
 Results of Britney Spears Nude Study

October
Senate Endorses 'Kill A Spammer' Initiative
 More Predictions from Princess Diana
UN Offers Guidance for Iraq Reconstruction
 Monkey Flings Poo by Thinking
Queer Makeover Pilot Cancelled after Assault
Schwarzenegger ist der Kanzler von Kalifornien
Rattlesnake Bites Wal-Mart Customer's Penis
Ashcroft Takes White House Leak; Won't Go to the Head

September
Swedish Bikini Team Rejects Euro; EU Economy Collapses
Segway Jet Ski Banned after Lobster Boat Massacre
 Most Wanted "Most Wanted Deck of Cards" Deck of Cards
Jokester Who Wanted "to See President Clinton" Dies at 68
Study: No-Call List Will Cause Assrapes to Skyrocket
 Stupid Warning Labels
 "Trying to Help" by Dennis Miller

August
LaffMaster v2.0 Generating Satire through Labor Day
More Secret Messages Found in LoveSan Worm
 George W. Bush "Elite Force Aviator" Action Figure
 California Gubernatorial Debates: Angelyne and Arnold Schwarzenegger
Shock Following Kobe Bryant Court Appearance
 RIAA Report: CD Sales Down Because New Music Sucks
Photo Caption Contest for August

July
Trading on the Future of Terror
Uday and Qusay: Just Two Crazy Kids in Love
Top Ten Reasons David Letterman Shouldn't Take an Extended Vacation
 Scam Uranium Document Contains Obvious Flaws
Glass Eater Hospitalised by Burger Shards
Bush, Rumsfeld Vow to Say "Whatever It Takes"
Randall Simon: "Must Kick Big Food Ass"

June
Lester Maddox Ascends unto Heaven
 Search Results for Weapons of Mass Destruction
"Dot-Sux" Domains a Virtual Sell-Out
Free Online College Diploma
 N.Y. Times Retracts Years of Erroneous Headlines
 Carnie Wilson's First Playboy Photo Shoot
FBI Issues Final Report on Tragic Matt Lauer Haircut

May
 Allah to Norway Martyrs: No Virgins for You!
Luxury SUV Buyers Win Desperately Needed Tax Relief
 Tattoo Doesn't Have Sex, Isn't Getting Married
 Apple Enters iLoo Fray with P4 Laptop
Happy Mother's Day from Ted Nugent
 Excerpts from the President's Speech aboard the USS Lincoln
Rumsfeld Plan Replenishes Iraqi Museum Artifacts

April
 America's Olsen Twins Auction Virginity on eBay
Shemp Fans Boycott Curly Fries
 Ten Ways You Can Support Our Troops
 The Iraqi Information Minister's Last Press Release
Security Alert: Terrorists Posing as Bikini Inspectors
'Most Wanted' Novelties Boost Iraqi Economy
The Amaze-O-Calc! Computing Engine
Yogic Flyers a Real Bring-Down at Austin Flugtag
Photo Caption Winners for April

March
 Happy Belated Birthday, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed
 Sorority Stages Nude Protest
 Lost Sequel to Orwell's 1984 Discovered
Chocolate Factory a Mixed Blessing for Hershey
 Apology from Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks
Pentagon Strategy for Post-Iraq Bombing
Networks Vow "War Won't Disrupt Reality"
 Instructions on How to Surrender

February
The Internet's Spontaneous Tribute to Shuttle Columbia
Lack of Evidence Proves Iraq is Hiding Evidence
U.S. Declares Buyer's Remorse; Returns Bush to Crawford Kmart
 Islamic Fundamentalist Space Program Boasts Perfect Safety Record
 Emergency Porn Preparedness
Joe Nigerian: The Mother of All Reality Shows
Grammys Reflect Disappointing Year for Dilettantes
NASCAR Hosts Pre-Race Poetry Workshops

January
 Brigitte Boisselier and The Girls of Clonaid
Rolex Watch Discovered during Colon Biopsy
Big Tobacco Sues Non-Smokers for Not Smoking
Money Still Talks But Bullshit No Longer Walks
 The 12th Annual Al-Q'aeda Achievement Awards
Autohersteller Entmutigen Amerikanischen Krieg mit dem Irak
 Tennessee Police Training Target
Streaking Climbs to Highest Level since 1973

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