Desperate Houseflies Top Sites: HumorFeed About.com I Love Bacon Mad Kane Studio 8 Ironic Times Jon Stewart Mark Fiore More linkage >> More Stuff: Direct TV Deals netbook Ad information >>		Popeye Called Before House Investigation Hearings Washington, DC  |  One of the most recognizable names in entertainment, Popeye the Sailor, spent over four hours on Wednesday responding under oath to questions from the U. S. House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform investigating performance-enhancing substances. Under earlier questioning, his former associate and chief accuser, Bluto, alleged Popeye frequently self-administered Opioid Peptide Rubiscolins and Nonheme Ferrous Oxalate in the form of Spinacia Oleracea. The Sailorman seemed to hold up well under blistering questions, although many of his responses seemed flippant to some observers. Neither was his testimony bolstered by frequent muttering and occasional angry outbursts. But just as Bluto had, Popeye stuck to his story. The credibility of both was thoroughly scrutinized. Neither Popeye nor Bluto seemed to emerge as a beacon of truth, concluded attorneys, crisis handlers and image consultants who watched the hearings. "Popeye did not do a good job of explaining why Bluto would falsely link him to substance abuse," said Gene Grabowski, a Washington-based crisis manager who has prepared numerous clients for congressional hearings. In one unexpected revelation, Popeye's long-time significant other, Olive Oyl, did acknowledge experimenting with the substance occasionally. The committee is expected to subpoena additional testimony from Popeye's close friends J. Wellington Wimpy and Alice the Goon, as well as his father, Poopdeck Pappy.
All original content on The Specious Report © Dale McFarland    Redistribution limited to excerpts for non-commercial use only.