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Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast

London, UK  |  Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following news that local atheist Donald Chapman saw an image of the Big Bang in a piece of toast.

Miracle Toast In an exclusive interview with The Huddlesfield Express Chapman, 36, explained that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye. "I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring," said Chapman.

"Then to my amazement I saw the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs with changing shades emanating outwards from the center of the black hole. It was identical to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big Bang. It's the beginning of the world!" he added excitedly.

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an Atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding," said one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms Hotel.

To the surprise of many, the UK National Atheist Association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell," said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddlesfield anyway noting that "seeing is not believing."

Reported by Ronald Pecorry










All original content on The Specious Report © Dale McFarland  Political Satire  Redistribution limited to excerpts for non-commercial use only.