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Sweet, Delicious Corn Wins Both Iowa Caucuses

Des Moines, IA  |  In a major upset, participants in both the Democratic and Republican primaries have delivered an unexpected victory to write-in candidate, Corn. This marks the first time in history a vegetable has won an Iowa caucus, not counting George W. Bush in 2004.

Corn On The Cob During an exit poll, one Republican participant said, "All the candidates were in a dead heat. We discussed it for hours and hours, but no one ever got a clear majority. In the end, we just voted our hearts."

One independent, who took part in a Democratic caucus, echoed similar sentiments. "Mmm... delicious corn," she explained. "Boiled, steamed, creamed, or on the cob. You just gotta love Corn."

While this "favorite son" victory is impressive, it is expected to have little effect on the upcoming primaries in New Hampshire.

Corn was not available for comment.

All original content on The Specious Report © Dale McFarland  Political Satire  Redistribution limited to excerpts for non-commercial use only.