YOU'RE DOIN' A HECKUVA JOB, RUMMY
November 9, 2006
Rumsfeld Let Door Hit Ass on Way Out, X-rays Reveal
Washington, DC | The Bush Administration's hallmark lack of exit strategy has claimed yet another victim. And this time it is Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld himself.
Appearing on a nationally televised press conference last night, the outgoing Secretary walked with a noticeable limp. Subsequent medical examinations indicated a severely fractured coccyx resulting from blunt force trauma.
Sources inside the Pentagon confirm Rumsfeld had paused to bestow one last condescending smirk as he exited the building earlier that afternoon. Witnesses say he was bent forward slightly just as the gigantic reinforced steel door swung closed, knocking the 74-year-old several feet into the air.
The Secretary is said to be recuperating at home and receiving numerous cards and emails from people encouraging him to "break a leg," "choke on it," "drop dead," "eat shit and die" and "take a flying fuck at a rolling donut you smug incompetent worthless piece of dog waste."
