FAKE-BASED INITIATIVE
October 25, 2006
Rush Limbaugh Denies Going Off Meds to Criticize Fox
West Palm Beach, FL | Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is refuting accusations that his remarks attacking Parkinson's victim Michael J. Fox resulted from deliberately withholding his medication.
The conservative pundit insists he had his usual breakfast of Vicodin, Viagra and Slim Fast.
"I know as much about Parkinson's Disease as I know about anything else," Limbaugh insisted, "and he was faking it, shimmying and shaking, gyrating and jiggling around. It reminded me of a lap dance I got last week."
A strong opponent of stem cell research, Limbaugh charged that Fox exaggerated his deteriorating condition for the purpose of making political television ads supporting the experimental medical technology.
"Can you imagine if we had had this treatment when I was young?" Limbaugh warned. "It might have corrected the inner ear condition that kept me out of the draft, which would have been utterly devastating."
"I can only pray they never find a cure for stupidity," Limbaugh added. "If that happens, I won't have any listeners left at all."
