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LOCKED 'N' LOADED
February 14, 2006


Dick Cheney the Victim of 'Shoot a Lawyer Day' Hoax

Corpus Christi, TX  |  Vice President Cheney is reported to be in satisfactory condition following an incident at a private ranch in southern Texas.
Dick Cheney
The Vice President's harrowing weekend apparently began with him being issued a valid non-resident hunting license with a counterfeit "upland game barrister stamp" allowing participation in the fictitious Annual Shoot a Lawyer Day Jubilee and Rattlesnake Round-Up.

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan told reporters the Vice President was completely taken in by the elaborate prank. Cheney's hunting party, Secret Service agents and Cheney's personal medical staff all stood by straight-faced as he pumped a 28-gauge Perazzi shotgun full of No. 8 bird shot into the face and chest of 78-year-old Austin attorney Harry Whittington.

"Texans have always been fond of their practical jokes," said a spokesperson for the 50,000-acre Armstrong Game Reserve and Petting Zoo. "Maybe this one went a little too far."

Local authorities were prevented from interviewing Cheney until a cover story about quail hunting could be fabricated.

Whittington suffered what was called a "minor heart attack" and remains in intensive care at Christus Spohn Hospital with some of the pellets lodged in his heart, but the Vice President is recovering in Washington, D.C. and appears to have suffered no long-term ill effects.











All original content on The Specious Report © Dale McFarland  Political Satire  Redistribution limited to excerpts for non-commercial use only.