FEED A COLD, STARVE A FEVER
November 3, 2005
Bush Appoints Dinty Moore Avian Flu Czar
Washington, DC | Continuing his policy of promotion from within, President Bush has named a can of chicken soup to head the $7.1 billion Avian Flu program.
"Trust me. I've known Dinty Moore since I was in college," Bush insisted, "and based on experience and, uhhhhh, qualifications, I'm tellin' ya, this is the best choice to fill, ya know, a great big position."
The President further demonstrated confidence in his choice, adding, "You're doin' a heck of a job, Dinty. Yum yum, somebody hand me them crackers."
Bush has been criticized for too often looking to his inner circle, ignoring advice from moderate Republicans to bring "new blood" into the administration. This latest appointment does little to stifle his detractors.
"It's simply another Bush crony being rewarded with a plum job," complained one Democratic Caucus insider. "Apparently he didn't feel he needed to look any further than the kitchen cabinet."
Democrats had given the President a list of "acceptable" candidates which included Campbell, Lipton and several generic brands. But Bush's choice indicates his willingness to chance a filibuster during Senate confirmation hearings.
