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THINK FAST
July 7, 2005
Ways to Use Your 2005 Leap Second
Washington, DC | Scientists are giving us the greatest gift of all: Time.
The world's extremely accurate atomic clocks will be adjusted by one second this year to compensate for the miniscule slowing down of Earth's orbit.
As of this writing, world population is 6,452,384,783. Multiply that by one second, and collectively we have an extra 204 years on our hands. So we thought you could use a few suggestions about how to use that extra time:
Foreplay with your wife or girlfriend. It doesn't sound like much, but each second with you probably seems like an eternity to them.
Go for a walk. Take the scenic route to your refrigerator.
Speed-read a book. May we recommend War and Peace, Ulysses or The Complete Works of Shakespeare.
Clean up the environment. Pull your SUV over to the side of the road and pick up that plastic water bottle you threw there yesterday.
Do volunteer work for the less fortunate. If you see an orphan, elderly shut-in or homeless person, wave to them and smile.
Contemplate your existence. But when you do, be sure not to scream out loud as this will disturb everyone else's contemplation.
Things you definitely should not do:
Don't waste the extra time sleeping, like you do every Fall when we turn the clocks back for Daylight Savings Time.
Don't watch television. Now that there's nothing on but crappy reality programming, one second is about all you can take anyway.
Don't be on the phone with a lawyer, or leave your car in the repair shop, or have anything at all to do with anyone who charges by the hour or fraction of an hour. (Babysitters are especially unforgiving.)
Don't squander it reading some ridiculous article about how to spend your leap second... Oops, too late!
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