2004 Presidential Election Satire

IT'S THE STUPID, STUPID
November 4, 2004


Exit Poll: How Bush Won on Key Issues

Washington, DC  |  President Bush's election victory came down to a few thousand votes in a handful of "battleground" states.

In the final analysis, Bush simply out-positioned Kerry, connecting with the issues that are most significant to average Americans.

A national exit poll of 125,000 voters identified specific areas where the President's values received the highest approval ratings:

Lackluster Economy: 54%
Tax Cuts for the Wealthiest: 59%
Lax Environmental Standards: 63%
Record High Gas Prices: 70%
Incompetent Handling of War in Iraq: 76%
Low Paying Jobs with No Health Insurance: 81%
Record High Deficits: 87%
Bankrupt Social Security System: 91%
Worldwide Hatred of America: 99%


Source: Diebold Systems - "Proudly Rigging Elections Since 2000"










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