FOUR MORE YEARS November 4, 2004 Bush Extends Hand to Those Who Voted Against Him Washington, DC  |  In his victory speech before a crowd of cheering supporters at the Reagan Center for Controlled Gloating, President Bush reached out to "every person who voted for my opponent." Emphasizing his fifty-one percent landslide re-election, Bush made a pledge to the nation's immoral unpatriotic liberals that he would pretend to give a rat's ass about any criticism they might have concerning his policies. Noting that Republicans still don't hold quite enough seats in the Senate and House of Representatives, Bush offered the choice of rehab or a one-way ticket to France for Democrats who might still think there's a chance in hell that obstructionist debate on his agenda would be tolerated. "Half of America has spoken," Bush said. "I'm humbled by the trust and confidence I managed to sucker out of enough voters to squeak by another election. A new term is an opportunity to reach out to the whole Nation. And for the next four years I will do the absolute bare minimum necessary to make you believe that's exactly what I'm doing." The President ended by acknowledging his "superb" campaign team. "I want to thank them all for their hard work. I was impressed every day by their skillful and effective use of hypocrisy, disinformation, character assassination, and good old-fashion voter fraud." In a private ceremony after his speech, a grateful President presented Carl Rove with the mounted heads of Tom Daschle and Martin Frost.		Top Sites: HumorFeed Chortler About.com I Love Bacon Mad Kane Studio 8 Ironic Times Jon Stewart Mark Fiore More linkage >>
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