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2004 Presidential Election Satire

October 9, 2004

Bush Declares Solid Anti-Slavery Position

St. Louis, MO  |  President George W. Bush chose the backdrop of Washington University to assure undecided voters he was not in favor of bringing back the institution of slavery.

The "town hall" debate between Bush and Senator John Kerry provided the perfect showcase for the President to outline his optimistic plans for the Nation's future.

When asked who he would nominate to the Supreme Court should he have the opportunity, Bush flatly ruled out any judge who might support the 1856 Dred Scott decision declaring Negroes have no rights under the Constitution.

The limitations of a two-minute response gave the President little time for details. But after the televised event, Bush campaign manager Ken Mehlman had the opportunity to extol Bush's "Compassionate Conservative" agenda.

"We'd like to make it very clear the President is and always has been a devout abolitionist," Mehlman said. "He is also steadfastly opposed to any Supreme Court appointee who might roll back child labor laws or women's suffrage."

However, when asked Bush's stand on the Salem Witch Trials, Mehlman said the President considered that a matter of State's Rights and would not seek Federal intervention under any circumstances.

All original content on The Specious Report © Dale McFarland  Political Satire  Redistribution limited to excerpts for non-commercial use only.