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Fire Plug Surfing Takes Off in Suburbia

Scotsdale, AZ  |  The cardinal rule of extreme sports - "Don't Let the Pressure Get to You" - has taken on a whole new meaning as Fire Plug Surfing skyrockets to popularity in land-locked suburban communities everywhere.

Called Fplurfing for short (the "F" is silent), it has made the excitement of white water sports available to a whole new audience who might otherwise have to drive for hours or even days to see a gnarly wave.

Some have attempted to put uniform regulations in place, such as the width and length of the fplurfboard. But for the moment, it remains a hardcore free-for-all. Shoes, helmets, kneepads, protective eye and groin-gear are all optional, despite numerous injury reports.

"Ideally, it's a doubles event," says 17-year-old fplurfmaster Brent Carpe. "You basically just need a bro to crank the spout. But some teams put a spotter on copwatch too."

Because of usage restrictions in many drought-plagued areas, and concerns from neighborhood fire stations about low water pressure, most choose to fplurf at night and avoid the hassles. But, as Carpe explains, "There's more of us than there are of them, so I say go for it. Once you get a taste, you're hooked."

Fplurfing puts the "stream" back in Extreme.

All original content on The Specious Report © Dale McFarland  Political Satire  Redistribution limited to excerpts for non-commercial use only.