Desperate Houseflies Top Sites: HumorFeed About.com I Love Bacon Mad Kane Studio 8 Ironic Times Jon Stewart Mark Fiore More linkage >> More Stuff: netbook Ad information >>		WHAT'S THE RUSH? July 13, 2004 2004 Election Postponed until 2008 Washington, DC  |  Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge today announced "preemptive measures" would be taken to defend against a catastrophic terrorist attack on U.S. soil. "Our original feeling was that an attack would guarantee the President's re-election, so bring 'em on. But what happened in Spain was a real wake-up call," Ridge explained. "Then someone said it might actually invite a terrorist attack, if they thought it could disrupt our democratic process. But then, we decided it might be perceived as a flip-flop, if we decided we wouldn't postpone after saying we would," Ridge continued. "So, long story short, we're just going ahead with the unilateral preemptive self-defense measure. It's consistent with this Administration's stated policies, and it's necessary to insure continuity of our national government." Ridge dismissed criticism of the plan from the Democratic National Committee, saying it was just one more example of their weak stance on National security. "Election day will still be on the first Tuesday in November, as the Constitution dictates. We're just changing the year a little bit. What's the big deal?"
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