Whereas President Ronald Reagan, through skillful negotiations, resolved the Iran Hostage Crisis;

And whereas President Ronald Reagan, with a simple wave of His hand, brought down the Berlin Wall;

And whereas President Ronald Reagan, through sheer force of will power, caused the worldwide collapse of Communism;

And whereas Commander in Chief Ronald Reagan, with a glorious victory in Grenada, cured the United States of its post-Vietnam Era trauma;

And whereas Commander in Chief Ronald Reagan single-handedly brought about an end to the Cold War;

Therefore, that parse of land heretofore set aside for a World War Two Memorial is hereby renamed The President Ronald Reagan Monument.

Furthermore;

Whereas President Ronald Reagan was the Greatest President of All Time, President's Day shall henceforth be designated President Reagan's Day;

And whereas Ronald Reagan's revolutionary supply-side theories provided the foundation for Economic Globalization, Ronald Reagan's image shall henceforth appear on all U.S. currency;

And whereas Ronald Reagan, The Great Communicator, inspired a Golden Age of Politics, The District of Columbia shall henceforth be known as The District of Reagania;

And whereas Ronald Reagan's charisma and good looks made Him the greatest actor in the history of motion pictures, Hollywood shall henceforth be called Ronnywood;

And furthermore;

Congress hereby authorizes such funds as shall be necessary to carve the image of Ronald Reagan onto Mount Rushmore, and that such action shall be completed before the closing gavel of the Republican National Convention on September 2, 2004.