2004 Presidential Election Satire

DENTISTORICAL REVISIONISM
February 16, 2004


White House Releases Bush Military Records

Alfred W. Bush: What, Me AWOL? Washington, DC  |  Accusations that President George W. Bush shirked his duties while in the Air National Guard have prompted the release of confidential documents from the dates in question.

Dental records and photographs from 1973 indicate Lieutenant Bush required a root canal and crown to repair his front tooth. Remarks in the record note: "Upper L central incisor (#9) - traumatic impact by tequila bottle."

The White House says this evidence proves Bush not only completed the minimum requirements to be honorably discharged from the Guard, but that he actually showed up in person on occasion.

Maj. Chip Colgate (Ret.), D.D.S., admits he doesn't specifically remember Bush, saying, "I guess he didn't stand out. He was just another rich kid using his daddy's connections to avoid serving in Viet Nam."

Also made public were five pay stubs from the Guard, and dated receipts from several liquor stores near Dannelly Base in Montgomery, Alabama.










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