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2004 Presidential Election Satire

February 2, 2004

Anyone But Bush Increases Lead Against Undecided

Washington, DC  |  A new Washington Post poll indicates an ever-widening gap between the 2004 Presidential front-runners.

While Undecided had monopolized the media spotlight throughout most of January, that momentum seems to have all but evaporated.

Most political analysts now believe Undecided must drastically alter any future strategy, or face continuing decline in popularity.

By comparison, Anyone But Bush has profited from recent revelations by former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill and former U.N. weapons inspector David Kay. But the campaign received its most noticeable boost following the President's State of the Union address.

One optimistic Anyone But Bush supporter insisted, "Time is on our side. The President has to open his mouth again sooner or later."

If elected, it will have been the first time an Anyone But has forced a Miserable Failure out of the White House since The Great Depression, when Franklin Roosevelt defeated Herbert Hoover.