MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
January 20, 2004
Last Fugitive Macarena Dancer Captured in Venezuela
Caracas, VE | After eight years and countless man-hours, a coalition strike force has taken a major terrorist threat out of circulation.
Pedro Fastidio, King of Diamonds on the International Ballroom Dance Association's "most wanted" deck, was discovered hiding in a makeshift disco at the bottom of a 15-foot spider hole outside his hometown of Seville.
A high Argentinean government official hinted the prisoner would most likely be put to death after a brief show trial.
U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said, "Ordinarily we discourage summary executions, but in this case we will turn a blind eye." Rumsfeld also expressed "high confidence" that, with Fastidio's capture, the few remaining Macarena sleeper cells will quickly dissipate.
However, this success is not expected to silence critics who have continually insisted the multi-national effort distracted from a more serious Karaoke threat.
