Rattlesnake Bites
Wal-Mart Customer's Penis
Brownwood, TX | Police say a man's penis was bitten by a large rattlesnake while shopping in a central Texas Wal-Mart [ nyse: WAL ] store.
Witnesses reported he was looking at shoes and didn't notice a rattlesnake coiled in the box. Apparently he was preoccupied with trying to understand why items assembled by third world slave wage laborers were labeled "Made in USA."
The shopper notified several Wal-Mart employees, who immediately went to ask the store's manager what to do. But, fearing the group of workers might be congregating to organize a union, the manager fired them on the spot.
Then the customer, who had lost his job when Wal-Mart moved to the area forcing many local businesses to close, explained to the manager he had been bitten on the penis by a rattler and asked what would happen.
The manager replied, "You're going to die... but you can suck my dick anyway."
