Luxury SUV Buyers Win
Desperately Needed Tax Relief
Washington, DC | Drivers of luxury sport-utility vehicles who sat through gridlock traffic over the Memorial Day weekend now have a real reason to celebrate.
President Bush has signed into law the Jobs and Growth Reconciliation Act, which increases deductions to $100,000 for vehicles weighing over 6,000 pounds. So now, instead of suffering the humiliation of a cramped "ordinary" SUV, drivers are encouraged to Super Size to a more roomy ride.
"My accountant told me I better buy something, but I just can't decide between the Mercedes-Benz G-500, the Lexus LX 470 or the Porsche Cayenne," one potential buyer complained. "They'd all go great with my solid gold urinal."
"I'm getting a Hummer," exclaimed an elated soccer mom, slash, part-time real estate agent. "Once it gets over 8,500 pounds, they don't even bother rating mile per gallon. I can hardly wait to slide my fat, stupid ass into that bad puppy!"
The auto industry was understandably joyful, with one Washington lobbyist saying tearfully, "I just hope some day my sons can experience the same satisfaction I got from buying a Congressman. There's no better feeling in the world."
