National Do Not Spam Registry

REGISTER YOUR HOME OR OFFICE EMAIL ADDRESS Spammers cannot use your address if it is on the Do Not Spam Registry. Registration is free and will be effective for five years. Note: If you share an email address, remember that you are registering for everyone who uses it.         Enter the email addresses you wish to register: (You may register up to five different addresses)        Opt-In Preferences (check all that apply): I DO wish to receive information about penis enlargement, because mine is embarrassingly small and I can't afford a Humvee. I DO wish to receive information about cheap home mortgage loans because, even though interest rates are the lowest since the Coolidge administration, I'm too dumb to call a bank. I DO wish to receive information about transferring my life savings to exiled former Nigerian royalty, because my greed outweighs even my stupidity. I DO wish to receive information about XXX-Rated Adult Sites because, despite the fact that there's enough free porn on the internet to last a thousand lifetimes, I want to give a total stranger my credit card number - especially the ones who make obscene references to my mother in the subject header.

This article is satire from The Specious Report.
This is a parody and not affiliated in any way with The National Do Not Call Registry.

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