Segway Jet Ski Banned
after Lobster Boat Massacre
Winter Harbor, ME | The latest in a rash of Segway-related accidents has prompted authorities to put an abrupt halt to the popular water recreation activity.
The James Bond-like Sequada can reach speeds of 115 mph, challenging that of many racing boats. Coast Guard Lieutenant "Choppy" Waters remarked, "In the hands of a reckless hobbyist, this machine becomes a lethal weapon."
This was tragically illustrated yesterday when an unidentified man struck a lobster boat in Winter Harbor. The resulting explosion sank the vessel, killing all seven hands aboard. The Sequada rider was also killed.
The FBI does not consider terrorism to be a factor.
Since its debut in June, the Sequada has been blamed for over 300 deaths and injuries. This most recent incident is the worst since Labor Day, when a man lost control of his Sequada near Orlando's SeaWorld Adventure Park and veered into a synchronized swimming exhibition, decapitating eleven.
"It's a shame a few irresponsible troublemakers give water recreation a bad reputation," said one Sequada enthusiast, who asked not to be identified. "Most of us are aware of the inherent dangers and limit our alcohol intake to eight or nine beers."
The ban has forced Segway to postpone the introduction of it's jet propelled personal aircraft, originally scheduled to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the first Wright Brothers flight in December 1903.
