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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
FROM TED NUGENT

Those morning show pansy asses in Denver took me off the air before I could wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day!

I don't know what the big deal was. I just told my story about that time the Funk Brothers said I played guitar like a nigger. I thought that was one of the sweetest compliments anyone could get. And I've said that to lots of other guitar players myself, because I love them - almost as much as I love my crossbow. Political correctness has brought America to its knees. But not me. NEVER!

Anyway, back to Mother's Day. I couldn't find the perfect card, so I wrote one of my own: "Words are just words. But words are all I have to tell you how much I love you, Slut." I think that pretty much says it all.

It's too bad so many of Our American Fighting Forces won't be home for Mother's Day. Especially the new fathers. Hope you all get a chance to phone your whores and cunts to tell them how much you love them.

Which reminds me: We need to come up with a different term of endearment for our Arab friends. "Sand nigger" is too long. And "towel head" or "rag head" doesn't really cover everyone. There's got to be a one-syllable word everyone can enjoy - just like coon, gook, chink, jap, spic, fag... You get the idea.

Hey! Email your suggestions! The winner will get to have a "Kill It & Grill It" dinner with The Nuge in person, plus a backstage pass to any one of my upcoming "2003 Shock and Awe Tour" concerts.

But I digress.

From me, my wife Shemane (whom I lovingly call "My Trophy Twat") and the kids (who we like to refer to as "Our Little Shits") here's wishing all you sluts out there a Happy Mother's Day.

God Bless Our Inalienable Right
to Blow the Living Fuck outta All Kinds of Crap,
The Nuge, Board Member &
Past President of the National Rifle Association

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