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Columbia Disaster was "Punishment from Allah"

Islamic Fundamentalist Space Program
Boasts Perfect Safety Record

Cairo, EG  |  The Islamic Fundamentalist Space Program (IFSP) will have good news to report when it appears before the upcoming Arab League summit in Egypt.

In light of the recent U.S. Columbia Shuttle disaster, the IFSP says its record of not one single human fatality is further proof that Allah is squarely on their side.

IFSP Director Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah expressed his joy. "This is a message for all of humanity. America, despite its evil invasion of space, despite its great wealth and superior science, is submissive to the will of Allah."

Advisory Board Chairman Abu Hamza Al-Masri echoed Nasrallah's sentiments. "This is a message to the American people that Bush's term is nothing but a string of curses cast upon them, and that it will lead to the exhaustion of their resources and the elimination of the false American dream. This is a divine message saying that they are not welcome in space."

Generally, the IFSP dismisses criticism that sticking a scud missile up a camel's ass and aiming it at the moon can hardly compare to a manned space program. Payload specialist Rama Lama Baklava calls this an infidel's way of thinking.

"A human presence is unnecessary, even undesirable," he maintains. "If Allah had meant for man to fly, He wouldn't have made camels so aerodynamic."