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MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH
December, 2003

Virtual Colonoscopy

Washington, DC  |  The virtual colonoscopy is a revolutionary, non-invasive method of screening for diseases of the colon and bowel. It is already known to be faster and less troublesome than conventional colonoscopy. Studies indicate it may also be slightly more effective.

Directions: 1. Press your buttocks against the computer monitor, being careful to directly align your sphincter with the flashing red dot. 2. Once properly aligned, click the "BEGIN SCREENING" button. 3. Spread your buttocks and remain motionless. 4. Your test results should be processed in a few moments, depending on your modem speed.