Rumsfeld Plan Replenishes
Iraqi Museum Artifacts
Baghdad, IQ | Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld took a break from touring his new Mideast oil fields this week to meet with representatives from Iraq's plundered National Museum.
Laying the groundwork for reconstruction, the Secretary presented several donations to reflect his deep anguish over the theft and obliteration of irreplaceable archeological treasures documenting the birth of civilization.
The endowments included a velvet Elvis painting, a lawn jockey statuette, and a large tapestry of dogs playing poker.
Rumsfeld expressed heartfelt regret over the unfortunate high-jinks, but maintained that television reports exaggerated the situation by rerunning footage of the same vase being looted over and over.
Before concluding the three-minute conference, he encouraged local artisans to begin producing new statues, portraits and monuments honoring "the greatest military genius of this or any other century" and left them with an autographed photo.
