SatireWire Founder Yields
to Saudi Pressure
New Haven, CT | An already frail internet community has been stunned by Andrew Marlatt's announcement that he will no longer update SatireWire.com. Market analysts anticipate a "crisis of confidence" in the parody news sector.
SatireWire was originally launched as a "shrine" site dedicated to Wil Wheaton, but soon saw its readership skyrocket - particularly among the Amish and the devoutly pro-American young French population.
Marlatt was one of the first to recognize the potential of the World Wide Web shortly after its invention by Al Gore. Sticking by his convictions, he successfully managed to fend off several hostile takeover attempts by early dot com juggernauts such as Priceline and Hamsterdance.
His enterprise flourished even after the tech bubble had burst, despite the fact that he never "conformed to generally accepted accounting procedures." But by 2002, much of his loyal U.S. audience had been distracted by World Cup Soccer mania.
Marlatt remains unavailable for comment and was last reported to be secured in an undisclosed location. But close advisors hinted he will soon be in training to audition for "Survivor 6 - Crawford."
Until then, his hiatus will be divided between his part-time job, transferring early issues of Mad Magazine to CD-ROM, and his full-time hobby, stalking Anna Kournikova.
Best of luck, Andrew. SatireWire will be missed.
