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Nigeria Holds Alternate Miss World Pageant

Miss World Gusau, NG  |  In an apparent reaction to international criticism, Muslim extremists in Nigeria have held their own "Miss World" pageant to replace the official event cancelled in the wake of religious riots which left an estimated 220 dead and 400 injured.

The pageant's theme was "Allah's Law is Supreme."

Contestants representing eleven northern cities and separatist states were commanded to demonstrate Islamic ideals of womanhood before the panel of Kadis (judges).

The event did not feature a talent demonstration, since Muslim women are not allowed to have a talent. And although a swim suit competition was never even considered, participants were allowed to lift their veils enough for judges to confirm they were all female. Points were earned primarily for the "evening bhurka wear" and "question and answer" presentations.

Despite these considerable restrictions, Miss Zamfara managed to impress pageant officials enough to be awarded the crown.

Most observers agreed that her response during the final phase of the contest gave her the winning score. When asked if it was fitting and proper for a Fatwa (religious edict calling for the death of a blasphemer) to be declared against the Nigerian journalist who insulted the Prophet Mohammad, Miss Zamrara simply nodded.

After the official Miss World was postponed and relocated to London, many of the original contestants griped about being bored and getting fat. But event organizers dismissed the complaints, saying it would be good practice for when the girls get married.

All original content on The Specious Report © Dale McFarland  Political Satire  Redistribution limited to excerpts for non-commercial use only.