Pepsi Campaign Marks Official End
of Britney's Career
Los Angeles, CA | The world breathed a collective sigh of relief after Super Bowl XXXVI, content in the knowledge that the nauseating but successful career of Britney Spears had finally come to an end.
After weeks of the airwaves being saturated with incessant promotions and "fluff" news stories about the semi-talented teen idol, she is now expected to quickly fade into the mist of pop culture trivia.
Los Angeles public relations executive Matt Glodenstein explained, "It was different when Britney's appearances were limited to just a few talk shows and music channels. But now she's everywhere. People who never even heard of her are already sick of her."
Glodenstein continues, "We expect it will be similar to the Michael Jackson fiasco - shortly after his Pepsi commercial, he was pretty much an old joke. Britney's movie debut will be the final nail in the coffin. Her acting makes Madonna look like Katherine fucking Hepburn."
Glodenstein maintains an up to date, and very long list of so-called "celebrities" the world is sick of hearing from. It currently includes, among others, Howard Stern, Dr. Phil, Tom Arnold, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock (both individually, and as a couple), Donald Trump, Sean "P Diddy" Combs, Mark Cuban, Ricky Martin, everyone on Ally McBeal, and the Aflac Duck.
