Local Newsrooms Almost Forced to Report Local News
July 2002
Horrifying Lack of July 4th
Terrorist News Narrowly Averted
Los Angeles, CA | Local television stations across the U.S. breathed a collective sigh of relief after a shooting incident at LAX International Airport spared thousands of reporters from having to do any actual work on the Fourth of July.
Until the mid-day gunfire at an El Al ticket counter, forcing thousands to evacuate the terminal, broadcasters had resigned themselves to airing video of fat guys eating hot dogs and babies wearing American Flag diapers.
"We've been unnerving people for weeks with talk of hightened alert this and unprecedented security that," said Bob Barringer, anchorman at Action 12 News, the ABC affiliate in Boca del Vista, Florida. "Up until now, we had zip."
"We're especially thankful to Israeli authorities, who immediately labeled it a terrorist attack," said former Miss Nebraska runner-up Vicki Valentine, now an investigative reporter at Fox affiliate Channel 72 in Omaha. "That saved us from having to do any real investigation."
News teams will now begin scrambling to make the transition from "The First Independence Day since September 11th" to "The First Korean War Armistice Day since September 11th" on Saturday, July 27.
