Upside to High Unemployment:
Morons Get Fired First
Washington, DC | The National Bureau of Economic Research has confirmed that the United States has officially been in recession since March, ending the longest economic expansion in its history.
The committee, composed of economists from Harvard, Stanford and other prestigious universities, explained that this is actually good news.
Chairman Martin Feldstein stated, "Recession means higher unemployment, which means a lot of underqualified people who were hired out of desperation will now be out of the mix, and out of our hair."
Feldstein went on to say, "Maybe now we'll get decent service at a restaurant, or find a competent salesperson when we go Christmas shopping."
A national poll supports the panel's findings, showing most people who previously found themselves with high-paying corporate jobs are now working at McDonald's or selling flowers at street intersections.
Many of the most incompetent have found jobs thanks to the recent employment boom in airport security.
