October 24, 2001

Dead Terrorists Go on Shopping Spree

[Wilmington, DE] -- The main billing office of MasterCard reports the continued use of credit cards linked to suicide terrorists who took part in the September 11 attacks.
    The card numbers, which are being tracked by the FBI, show unusually large orders for Ozarka, Evian and other bottled waters, as well as hundreds of bags of Redy-Ice.
    Although none of the purchases have actually been delivered, a MasterCard spokesperson said, "This tells us one thing for sure: People in Hell really do want ice water."